idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
