Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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