Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
