Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
