Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
