you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
