just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize