Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
