on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
