Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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