Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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