i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
