So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
it glows. i had to have it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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