I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
