Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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