speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
