my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
