I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
