Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
