Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
