I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
