i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
