we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
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You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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