Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think my vagina is haunted
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
