The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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