we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
