I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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