It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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