Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
