Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
