I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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