If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
