Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
