soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wear drunk well.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
