kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
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Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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