hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
why do cheetos always look like penises
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
