Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
