I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
