Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
