love makes seman taste better
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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