I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
