dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
