Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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