put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
