I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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