how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
