if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
