dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
