she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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