fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
