I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize