I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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