A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
