Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
