White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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