i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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