please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
