I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
