Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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