It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
